week 6, saturday

[digestif]

[ they find him in the parlor after trial, because of course they do. After that utter debacle, they need to talk.

When they see him, their expression is close to anger - it's certainly more emotional than they usually let themself look - but, in the end, it's even closer to misery than that. They're so frustrated by all of this. ]

Was that really the best you could do, Ishikirimaru-san?

Comments

[digestif]

... Mm. You should.

[ although Mizuki is less than happy to recommend that to him, it's probably for the best. They just hope Majima doesn't try to beat him senseless. They pause, sighing, and rub the back of their neck. ]

Majima-kun is a yakuza, but he hates killing - it's hard to believe, but it's true. For him, that's crossing a line you can't go back from. I don't know if he'll be willing to accept you after this, even under these circumstances.

[ritualization]

...then I suppose it is for the best that we speak now. Being here is not the first time that I have had to do so, after all; perhaps he would not have accepted me to begin with if he'd known.

[not that ishi can really blame him, honestly. though with a slight, rueful smile, he adds:]

At least it is something that we can agree on. I have never liked it, despite what I am.

[digestif]

Of course not. No sane person would want to kill another living human.

[ ... or spirit, in his case, perhaps. ]

I'm the same. Unfortunately, from the moment someone shed blood that first week, I knew there was no chance things would be so easy. [ a beat. ] If killing one person will keep ten people safe, then I think not killing them would be more careless. It's cruel, but the alternative is crueler.

[ritualization]

...I know. Reasonably, I know that.

[it's why he acted, and while he still carries that guilt, he's not sure he fully regrets taking that action.]

But it is still a difficult choice to make, for me. I know many of the others would have had an easier time here.

[digestif]

[ at that, for the first time here tonight, Mizuki manages a smile, albeit a bitter one. ]

I never said it was an easy choice, Ishi-san. The fact that you're having so much trouble with it just shows that you're a good person.

[ the fact that they're so willing says the opposite about them, perhaps, but they're fine with being the bad guy if it helps people. That's what they decided. ]

I'm impressed, you know. As old as you are, and a soldier, too - a weapon, even - and the weight of a life is still so heavy on your shoulders. If more people here were like you, I'm sure we wouldn't be in this position right now.

[ritualization]

...I think it may say the opposite, honestly. Even someone like me has found themselves willing to take lives in the course of this competition; there is nothing to say that things would have been much different, in the end, though the number of bodies may certainly have been lower.

[his sigh is heavy, at that thought.]

Though there is still a chance that you are right. Either way... this is still the position we find ourselves in, and we still must find a way to try to ensure the best ending we can.

[digestif]

Like you said, this is the position that we're in. You can't blame yourself for what you've been pushed into doing.

[ maybe they think he could have tried harder to protect himself and what he'd done, but that's all they're faulting him for. ]

We'll be done soon.